After 3 weeks… and more

It’s been 3 weeks since the crisis began. But actually it’s been more than one month since I (actually) realized that God wanted to show me something. Something big.

And it is BIG.

Last night again I cried out to the Lord. In the last 3 weeks almost every week He has been bringing me to the end of my self, to the edge of my faith, to the end of my rope. Ya, I think for the last 3 weeks, I always got kind of “short” rope. To always drag me back to Him and cling to Him. More than before.
I’m amazed to realize that how hard, how harsh, how difficult the process I have to endure. The refining fire is just bit too hot this time. So, it must be for something real big in the future for me.

I still can not see the bigger picture. I’ve stopped to analyze anything. Stop trying to impart my own idea. What I can see now is God is at work. I’m trying to compile all the puzzles, and give them back to my God, let Him do it His way. I am learning to believe that when I give the puzzles to Him then every piece will fall in the right place. Ya, I am learning. I knew all the theories, what I am supposed to do, what the right things to do, I knew them all since long ago. But it seems, need this hard process for me to apply it, to live them out, not just as theories, but to experience it.
And it is hard. Painful. Dead-end feeling.

When I look back, I understand, that on those rough roads and deep valleys, I can see God’s finger prints all over the places. In every corner, up and down. In every tear dropped. He was always there and will always be.
So, if He allows me to have this process, He must have something real BIG for me in the future. By the grace of God, not my own strength, I have chosen to be devoted, not discouraged to God. So, I know the time will soon come, when I come up as the winner…

About him…
It is not fair if I think this hard process is solely for me. I guess he is facing it too. He knows the Lord, he loves God and he even has been serving God longer than I do. He knows what he should do regarding this one. I think he is struggling to…I can not say sorry for him that he has to face this process. And I know he also can not feel the same way for me. It’s all already in His agenda since the very beginning.

Never imagine before that the process would be this hard. But, again, His thoughts are not my thoughts. His ways are not my ways. He has His own plan with His own timetable.
All I wish now, that the pieces start falling in the right place. So soon I can see the bigger picture. As for now, after 3 weeks, I haven’t seen the bigger picture yet. But I will. He will. We will…

September 10, 2010

 
Today… after nearly 7 months…
The story has not changed, so much. The bigger picture has not seen yet. And the life still goes on. But I survived.

I still believe for that “something big”, that it is happening and that God is working on it. Even what is happening now just show a very very few of that big thing. Even what I wish for seems never come. Even the big thing that seems closer now is totally another thing…

Keep hoping. Keep believing. The end is not in sight…the best is yet to come.

Surprising Elements

Surprises are always part of God’s leading. 

In Saul’s case, the surprise came in the form of a light from heaven, marking a life-changing transformation. For Ananias, it was a seemingly unreasonable and illogical command from the Lord, delivered in a vision.

If you are waiting on God to fill in all the shading in your picture, you will never take the first step in obeying His will. You must be prepared to trust His plan, knowing it will be full of surprises. Surprise is always a part of God’s leading.

Surprises always intensify our need for faith. 

When you encounter the surprising element of God’s will, your faith must engage full throttle. Otherwise, you’ll turn and run in the opposite direction. At times God’s plan will frighten you. Or you’ll be intimidated by its demands. Other times you’ll be disappointed. For instance, when God tells you no, to wait, or to sit tight, you’ll want to argue. You may decide to fight. You might attempt to negotiate. You may become angry.  But when your faith kicks in to gear, none of those impulses will control you. Faith says, “I can do this. I trust You, Lord. I don’t understand everything, but I trust You completely. Let’s do it.”

Quite possibly God has a major move in store for you in the near future. After almost seventy years on this earth and having spent fifty of those years studying and learning more about the ways of God, I can tell you His will for our lives is full of surprises. He has more moves in mind for us than we could possibly anticipate. And they’re not all geographical. Many area attitude adjustments, some mean moving us out of our comfort zones to touch the lives of people we’ve never met, or we might be in for a cross-country or cross-cultural journey that requires a level of faith we’ve not exercised in the past. Be careful about feeling too settled where you are – physically, emotionally, spiritually, or geographically.  

If the Lord wants you to move, I strongly suggest you cooperate, regardless of the risks. If He leads you to change, then change, even if it’s difficult. 

Surprises from God always intensify our need for faith.

<Acts 9: 10-21>

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Sunday, April 03, 2011 (Great Lives from God’s Word – Charles R. Swindoll)

a space for grace

Dear Lord, show me how to seek You more and more in the midst of everyday life.
Please help me to see my emptiness as an opportunity,
as a space for grace in my life.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen

March 25, 2011